My Upside Down Life

My life has been turned upside down. What turned it upside down is not important. What is important is how I react to it. Right now my reaction is not a good one. I'm mad. I have every right to be mad. But I do not want to be consumed with this anger. So I have to turn it around and use this anger for good. Easier said than done. As I write this I am so upset I can barely find the keys. (So forgive any misspellings.) I have always believedI should treat others well even if they don't deserve it. Now, I am fighting to keep this belief. Right now I want some people to hurt the way they have hurt me. That is exactly how I feel on the outside. The inside is a different story. I do not even want my worst enemy to feel the anger and confusion I feel. It makes me sick to think of anyone feeling this way. So what do I do. I have no answer to this question. I do know that I will continue doing the things I know I should. I will probably do a few things I should not do, nothing harmful, things involving chocolate, high heels and earrings. Hopefully tomorrow I will find a way to put something right side up. I truly hope.

Sometimes I try to prove myself a failure

Yes, I do try to prove myself a failure. I wait to the last minute to complete tasks. So if they are not completed what's the big deal. I eat what I should not. Oh yeah, I'm trying to lose weight. I let any reason keep me from my workout. Compete in a marathon..Hah! You can't compete if you don't prepare.
So why am I writing this? I'm trying to give myself a big slap in the face and shout 'Snap out of it!" (name that movie).
Today I am working on different. A different me and I hope a better me.
So as I write these words without thinking and planning and procrastinating I vow to make the change.

Trying to win a book

Hi Yall! Im trying to win Fat Chance; Losing the weight, Gaining My Worth. If I do win, I will blog about it shortly, if not it will be later. Many of you know I have issues with weight. This was not something I dealt with until this decade. I have many thoughts about this and will talk to you about them in the future.

I need to get this started!

Ok. I know I am being led to write this blog. But I have not been listening. I know that I am suppose to be doing this for the young ladies I worked with and have left behind in Texas. Hopefully I will bring in new ones from Wisconsin. So friends, If you are reading this: 1st I want it to be ok with your parents 2) I want this to be about what you are wanting to learn about. You can email me and Iwill keeep it private. I will address isues in general on this blog. I would never call you out on a blog. My main reference will be, and always be the bible. I will consult with other Godly women and their writings when needed. I will try to post once a week. Just let me know what you want.
Again I am sorry this is so late to get started, but here we go. Join me for the ride!
Kiwi
aka Gabriella